According to a Rasmussen survey, only 3 percent of American adults say Ivy League alumni are better workers than those who attended other schools.
BOOM ROASTED! In your face Ivy League! Now you all look like a bunch of suckers. Twice as much in tuition and everyone thinks you’re all trying to snake your way through the work day. I hope your parents are proud.
I can just picture all of you now. Probably just sitting there idly in your Polo Rugby attire, checking your Fantasy Crew and Fantasy Squash teams without producing any value in the work place. Well you all finally got caught. Looks like my four years at Delaware and some good old fashioned elbow grease will present a bigger pay off than your 9 kajillion dollar education at Harvard. Maybe you can caddy for me in St. Barth’s in 20 years when your dreams don’t pan out.
“But only 28 percent of Americans believe that people who work harder generally make more money than others anyway.”
Wait, what? DAMNIT! How is that fair?
Forget everything I said. Everyone knows that Ivy League schools are the backbone of America’s past and future. Yea, maybe they don’t work as hard but that’s because they are smarter than the rest of us peasants. They are obviously better looking and chaster too.
But I still think I can make it big, with the proper amount of sucking up to my superior human Ivy Leaguers and perhaps a little bit of luck.
“In December, just 30% of Americans said it is possible for anyone in America to work hard and get rich.”
And the hits just keep on coming, huh? Just a minute ago I was riding high. Looking like a genius for sticking with my B+ in high school and never giving that extra effort. Now 70 percent of Americans are telling me my strategy of making it as a writer is a joke. So what is my play? Do I become a bounty hunter? Go to bartending school?
Whatever. No matter what I end up doing, at least I know I had more fun than these nerds.
The prevalence of naked parties on college campuses is not only a Yale phenomenon — the university shares a certain national notoriety for the tradition with its fellow Ivy, Brown University, according to Luke Skurman, CEO of College Prowler, Inc., a company that produces “insider” guides written by students for over 230 colleges —ABC News
Damn it…
Jack Kiernan is a contributor to the Student Free Press Association.
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